February 21st, 2013 Population: 23 Pokedex: 239
Hello boys, girls, sports fans and jihadists, this is a really LAME update, brought to you by the Liberty Alliance Media Enterprise!
In today's update: Not much
[big]Message from the Founder[/big]
[big]Falconias causes Massive Population Flux in NationStates[/big]
[small]Now former Liberty Alliance citizens departing on a train for Europeia[/small]
The balance of power was shifted mightily over the past week, as thousands of people suddenly fled Liberty Alliance for other regions, especially Europeia, a little-known region in the far corner of NationStates. The mass emigration has left Liberty Alliance with just shy of two dozen nations, a meager nickel compared to the record 9,482 it held just a week prior.
Early reports indicate the departures are due largely in part to the presence of "Falconias," the scientific term for "Region-Eating Disease." It is a highly painful disease that consumes regions from the inside, leaving them without much in the ways of integrity, constitutions, or in many cases, even spam. There is no known cure.
"I had to go through this bullsh*t once before," said one resident, who wished to remain anonymous. "It was horrible. Back in the day, there used to be this placed called the Founderless Regions Alliance. I think I contracted Falconias from some fellow named HEM. I could feel it biting in my legs at first, but scratching it only made it worse. Over the next few days, it made its way up to my Edited to satisfy legal complaint filed by a "Mr. HEM".
I should have just told him no means no."
Europeia wasn't the only region to benefit from the bizarre outbreak in Liberty Alliance, however. 3,168 Islands grew closer to its goal of 10,000 by assimilating several hundred nations from Liberty Alliance. Unfortunately, it only gained one island as the nations came as a continent, bringing the total number of islands to 3,169.
A former President of Europeia had this to say: "I don't know what people are talking about. Falconias isn't that bad, you just have to get used to it, it can be kind of fun when you infect other people with it. It's probably the best thing to ever happen to NationStates, actually." He even suggested a cure for the disease: "If you really can't stand it, try applying a thick layer of Rub-Onder-35, That is sure to cure yourself of me, erm I mean, Falconias, within minutes."
It has yet to be seen whether the thousands of former residents intend to come back to the region at some point.
[big]Founder of Liberty Alliance Arrested for Multiple Alcohol-Related Offences[/big]
[small]Luna having a momentary lapse in judgement[/small]
Flowering Staplers, commonly known as "Luna", was arrested last night for public indecency, urinating in public, vandalism, indecent exposure, sexual harassment, driving under the influence, impersonating a police officer, false practice of medicine, and illegal whaling.
Details as to how these crimes were carried out were not made immediately clear; however in the early hours on Thursday, most of the charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.
One charge was held back however - Luna will be appearing in court next Monday on a charge of whaling. She has been granted a $100,000 and her homemade lasagna bail.
"I dnt rly reme ameber much," she might or might not have said. "I like sas sawwwwww this dolphin...... and I dint like mr cage so I was like FREE WILLY! and I unno *hiccup* I ended up in here."
IRC logs were not made immediately available to public viewing, and she has declined sober comment. Try again on the weekend after some more "fermented grape juice."
[big]BREAKING! Founderless Regions Alliance agrees to become a member of Liberty Alliance[/big]
[small]Administrator Jamie (left) shaking hands with FRA Arch-Chancellor Bobby-Jo Sheepdog (right)[/small]
In an unusual development, the Founderless Regions Alliance has followed through on their agreement to join Liberty Alliance, despite the recent outbreak of Falconias.
"Dog gone varmints errywhere," said the Arch-Chancellor. "Git 'r' done. F*****g shoot em raiders."
It would appear that the Arch-Chancellor believes the FRA's military may benefit from the extensive training offered in Liberty Alliance.
[small]FRA Rangers Update Crew, pictured Saturday February 16th in a promotional photo[/small]
"F*****g missed im ag'n," said the Arch-Chancellor, while firing off rounds at passing Black Riders. "Taggin' all my god-damn sh*t. Better bring in the big guns. Tired o' this crap, they're scarin' off the f*****g ducks. We need some raider-shootin' trainin."
The FRA membership in LA takes effect immediately, and the Rangers are expected to complete their raider-shootin' training by the end of Easter, when there are no turkeys left.
Liberty Alliance is prepared to pass, unanimously, their second constitution in as many years, after the involvement of Falconias to try and stabilize the region. The constitution features a few uncommon laws that are set to make politics in Liberty Alliance unique: Legislature size is proportionate to the size of the region at the time of electionOnly 3 elected Executive positions; Prime Minister, and two Deputies (External and Internal)Prime Minister has a 6-month term for a more engaging election periodNo organized judiciary branch - Liberty Alliance will have one constitutional rule: don't be an ass, and you won't get banned.
Elections will be held in March and we are in need of experienced legislators to guide the new Legislative Assembly through the first few months of creating a minimal amount of regulations to keep Liberty Alliance sane and active.
One of the highlights of the region is the direct government involvement in World Assembly affairs. While many regions tend to put WA and roleplay politics as second-tier, they will be the focus of the Legislative Assembly. The LA will meet and discuss several times a week issues before the World Assembly, and be exactly what a region was designed to be a decade ago - a fun, intelligent group of people to role-play real world issues as it affects their nations.
[big]This has been... a LAME update![/big]