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Seven Deaths

Albion Update IX

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King: His Imperial and Royal Majesty, Charles Cerebella
Crown Prince: His Imperial Highness, Sir Christopher Bishop
Princess: Her Royal Highness, Dame MagentaFairy
Prince: His Royal Highness, Joshua IX
Arch-Mage: His Highly Learned Magnificence, Sir Seven Deaths
Knight Foreign: His Scheming Excellency, Sir Cassius Cerebella
Knight of War and Lord High Constable: The Warbringer, Dame MagentaFairy
Chief Knight: Sir Feniris
Knight Interior: Sir Erebos Janmaren
Knight Cultural: Dame Elizabeth Cerebella

Chief Bard: Sir Detritus Saxton

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"You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog."

- Harry S. Truman


The valiant Sir Feniris in his finest armor

To the surprise of some, it was recently election time in Albion again! With the previous terms of service flying by, it was suddenly time again for citizens to descend upon the voting booths and express themselves through democracy. The excitement of the citizens was matched only by the sullen apathy of the bureaucrats charged with counting their votes. The election for the Lower Council was hotly contested, with citizens both old and new standing for seats, including some returning older citizens. After some campaigning and generic speeches, the race itself was a close result, with Aaron Cerebella, Barrios, de Lorean, Elizabeth Cerebella and Sebastien Cerebella Minier being elected to the Lower Council. Many of these Councillors have served previously, resulting in a small but highly experienced Council for this coming term. Unfortunately, due to unforeseen events in real life, barrios was soon forced to resign his position, citing an inability to meet his responsibilities and not wishing to let the region down. As such, a by-election was held to fill the now empty seat, which was won rather decisively by Celeste Holland, despite her rather ambiguous self nomination. De Lorean was elected speaker by unanimous vote, and selected Elizabeth as her deputy speaker.

Around the same time, it was time for a Chief Knight election, for the citizens to select one of their own to lead the civilian government and manage domestic affairs. Sir Feniris, the incumbent Chief Knight, chose to stand for a second term. Securing the confidence of the populace with an inspiring speech, Feniris decisively won the subsequent election, securing over 80% of the 26 votes vast in the election. Releasing another statement, thanking the region for entrusting him again with the office, he outlined his plans and promised another active and successful term.

Day to day affairs in the Council Chambers of Albion have seen threatened impeachments of members for failing to actively contribute to discussion, various arguments over the meaning of individual words, and an ongoing discussion about the concept of honorary citizenship. In this area the debate centers around whether the Council itself should have the ability to review and recommend such a reward, or whether matters of citizenship and regional honors should remain under the prerogative of the Crown. Recently the previous controversy surrounding the presence of the Crown Prince on the Grand Council has also been solved, with the conclusion being that he is indeed a full member, bringing a long running issue to a close.

"We make war that we may live in peace."
- Aristotle


What the Royal Albion Legion might look like in battle, if defenders ever attempted to stop us

In external affairs, the Royal Albion Legion has for the last month been engaged abroad as part of its commitment to the United Imperial Armed Forces, occupying the Founderless Regions Alliance member region of Slavia. Since then, UIAF forces have successfully held the region with little to no resistance from defenders. The invasion of Slavia marks the continuation of our track record of military success against the FRA, and the current state of the region should serve as a warning to those who would consider joining such a corrupt alliance in the future. The Founderless Regions Alliance provides no refuge from the UIAF’s military might, and has once again failed to take either the military or the diplomatic steps necessary to guarantee the security of its member-regions. The consequences of this failure have proven most severe for Slavia.

Aside from this impressive operation, Albion's military has also participated in a number of operations at update, ranging from simple tagging to assisting in the capture of regions to facilitate invasions by our allies. Our ability to assemble both skilled update forces and large numbers of reinforcements continues to improve, and we hope to be able to provide even more opportunity for our soldiers in the future.

On a more diplomatic note, the Round Table and King of Albion have recently ratified the Treaty of Amsterdam. Through this treaty the governments of the regions of the Realm of Albion and the United Kingdom of the Netherlands enter into an alliance in order to cement the relationship between our two regions. We have a certain shared membership base, and our interests in cultural endeavors and external policy align well. It is the hope of Albion that our regions will continue to cooperate well into the future and that we may both grow even stronger with time.

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

- Mark Twain


Sir Seven Deaths has an unexpected rendezvous with a crossbow bolt

The highlight of domestic affairs in recent times was the wedding of Princess of Albion, Dame Clarissa MagentaFairy Lucina-Anumia, to Lord Isidor Casimir Somerset. In a romantic ceremony hosted in Fairfax Castle in Albion, by King Charles Cerebella, the pair swore to stand by each other until to the end of their days, and were wished a happy life together by the surrounding crowds. Shortly after the ceremony, the King invited the guests to head to the wedding reception, and saw to it that they were escorted there by armed guards. The gathered guests danced and drank and celebrated, while the court musicians played The Rains Of Castamere and the King looked on. Soon enough it was time for the bedding ceremony, and the King invited the Cerebella family, and everyone else he particularly liked, to escort Fairy and Isidor from the room. With the happy couple safely away, the doors were locked, and the musicians replaced their violins with crossbows. The King drank his wine and watched on with with apathy as the Vinage family was slaughtered before his eyes, a sacrifice to a stronger united land, and to sacrament the Royal wedding in the blood of enemies.

The Vinage House has long been heralded as a shining star in an otherwise bleak starscape populated with small Houses that have less NS usefulness than the recruitment TGs we send everyday. On the first of February in the year of our Lord Cere Two Thousand and Fourteen, two brothers of the Vinage name, Detritus and Seven Deaths attended the wedding of MagentaFairy and Isidor C. Somerset. At the reception afterwards, as the bride and groom were carried from the hall for the traditional bedding ceremony. It was then that His Majesty the King, Charles Cerebella, revealed his true colors. In a stunning display of bravado and as a sacrifice to the Gods on his Princess’ wedding day, he brutally murdered the two brothers. These brothers fought valiantly, standing side by side in their final moments as crossbow bolts peppered their bodies. The people of Albion thought them dead and rejoiced, but this was not a day of rejoicing. This was a day of rebirth for the brothers and as they rose from the ashes, they cast aside the shackles of the Vinage name. Reborn as Saxton, the two split from both the other branch of the Vinage family and the Grey-Anumias. Even today, the two thrive amongst the people of Albion born anew. They are Saxton and they are here to stay.

"Culture is the habit of being pleased with the best and knowing why."

- Henry Van Dyke


Captain Tobias Edward Steve III of Purrcules Dovakitty, the Slayer of Dragons, Lord of the Scratching Forest, Knight of the Red Dot

Regarding less murderous events for a moment, the role play community in Albion continues strong. A few new role plays have started up, namely the "Place in the Sun", which sees players creating and managing an imperial power at the turn of the century. A scramble for strategic and valuable colonies is already gearing up, and we are likely to see some aggressive expansion rather soon. Daubney Company Contracting offers a different kind of role play, set in the distant future, for those who want to create a space age character and whiz around in a starship. Recently an effort has also been undertaken to revive the old "Founding of Albion" role play, which due to various issues had fallen into disuse. With new families and a reorganized map, the new founding is already seeing interest and should prove even more successful than the last. You might say we've refounded the founding, so to speak.

In January, our city of Silverpine with the help of the Round Table hosted a writing competition whose name was as long as the winning story. Each participating member wrote the tale of Captain Tobias…The Adventures of Captain Tobias Edward Steve III of Purrcules Dovakitty, the Slayer of Dragons, Lord of the Scratching Forest, Knight of the Red Dot…a kitty with a sword and shield. Several members of Albion stepped up in writing their versions of the tale including demons and wizards, feline love interests, alcoholism and even a bear samurai. In the end Sir Seven Deaths won with his tale titled “Born In Blood.” All the stories will be archived in the Silverpine part of our forums so everyone can go back and read the adventures of their newest mascot.

Albion News Network

The following may or may not be true, which is true is for you to decide

- Cupcake Cannons Cause Chaos and Calamity on the Royal Message Boards!

For a period of about a week several million citizens of Albion went into diabetic shock when a bakery war was started. Sir Feniris struck first firing his cupcake cannon at passersby. His muffin mayhem was soon followed by our king Charles Cerebella who was pelting pirates with parfait and socking sailors with sugary sprinkles. Things were kept mostly civil until Sir Detritus Saxton decided to unleash his ultimate weapon of mass confection, the Orbital Bakery Cannon. After a few vicious attacks frosting the landscape, diabetes and obesity rates in Albion skyrocketed. Wild beasts were too fat to hunt, and many residents of the region had to eat their way out of their pastry prisons. Things have returned to normal fairly quickly afterwards, with most of the sugar and frosting cleaned up, however some of the more remote areas of Albion still look like the box from the old game “Candyland”.

- Erebos Reaver, The Cit Reaper

In other news, Erebos has been unofficially and quite scandalously dubbed the Cit Reaper. His murderous cackles could be heard across the whole of Albion as citizens who no longer were active were removed from their City-States. They now dwell in the slums of Bowerstone until they return. The Archduchess can only hope that they will see sense and join Shalefields. The Round Table decided to adhere to the newly made purger's to avoid becoming the Semi-Circular table and went along with this ploy.

#SuchPurge #SoCityReaper #MuchReaver

- The 5-minute Wedding

After the minor confusion of whether his love interest was in Seven Deaths or Ms. De Lorean, Detritus Saxton and Corinne got married in a record 5 minute ceremony. It was officiated by their forcibly adopted son Cassius on the Albion Skype Chat. Too bad there weren't more people to fire the cannons of love and hit innocent bystanders. The blubbering witnesses include Fuzzy the Owl Who didn't give a Hoot, Feniris the Lone Wolf Howler and Riket: Fox Fully Functioning. With a beautiful and heartwarming "Meh, sure." and "I guess so", the couple mauled it out.

Albion wished the newlyweds a wonderful honeymoon. Corinne, you can now legally access your husband’s bank account. Det, get ready.

- Brightwall's Badger branded Benjamin.

His name isn't really Benjamin, but the alliteration was of vital importance. In the daring act of kicking Silverpine in the buttocks (see, important alliteration), Brightwall stole the most befitting animal to represent the City-State. Many citizens shook their head, why didn't Silverpine claim the glorious Badger as their animal before Brightwall? Does not everyone want to share the animal as the best Harry Potter house? In the words of Brightwall; "Badger, badger, badger, badger. Mushroom, mushroom."

Thanks for reading!

"Omg. Those articles are eggseelant. U musht haf gud writars." - MagentaFairy

"They need rewarded! They are eggstremely eggsellent writers." - Erebos Janmaren

Always yours,


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